Dear Bigot, 

When I smiled at you identifying that I was Canadian and from Dorval this was not an invitation to tell me everything that was on your mind. 

I was genuinely quite happy to meet someone who had lived in Point Claire for 20 years, seriously I was. That’s why I smiled again. Now, and this is my fault, I should have immediately broken off the conversation when I told you I was from Dorval and you said “oh, is that still there?”. Every one of my warning bells went off. 

At this point I started doing math quickly and realized that you had fled when the PQ took power. This gave me an immediate foreshadowing of what was to come. 

From this point on all of my smiling and soothing conversation was no longer genuine and was the product of years of passive aggression and my trying to contain and manage you in much the way you talk to a 5 year old who is having a tantrum. 

When you started on with your delightful story about how the Quebecois don’t really speak French and how you once saw a French person refuse to talk to a Quebecois in French because they contended that they didn’t actually speak that language my smile was to hide my hatred of both you and myself. My hatred of you should be self explanatory, but I was hating myself for smiling and for not telling you off. 

What I would have liked to have said was “oh yes, when the colonizer comes along and prattles about how his or her language should be spoken it’s always funny. Because nothing is better than condescending bullshit. Hey, how about those Australians and how they think all of you here in NZ speak like stupid, backwards bumpkins? Isn’t that a hoot?”

When you transitioned onwards to your rant about bill 101, which you clearly don’t understand and never will, my smile was now the smile you reserve for the mentally infirm. At this point I was actually enjoying myself again, because all my hatred had evaporated and I now pitied you, in a sort of “oh look, she’s actually pieing herself. Over and over and over. How sad and funny.”

Now, I don’t know if you noticed, but I actually had the spine to turn off the conversation when you moved on to “So, are all the Muslims there still?” Because, honestly, I had more foreshadowing going on, and I just wasn’t able to figure out how we were going to wind up in a good place with this conversational gambit. So yes, there are muslims, and yes many of them came because they came from places where French was the second language. 

But most of them came for another reason. Because idiots like you are out numbered by people who don’t have their heads in their butts. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and live with my shame at not actually engaging you about yoru stupid. I suppose this shame will fade. Sadly your dumb will not. 

Good day.

So you get up really early, and you run around, and then the airport shuttle comes to and you get in and you go for a nice 30 minute drive to the Dunedin Airport, where you are like 2.5 hours early. So you have coffee and look at the shops and marvel at how young the NZ Army recruits look. Then you get on the plane and fly to Auckland. Where you are layed over for 8 hours. So you go into town and discover that you are totally city people (omg someone shoved me, I’m home). Then you go back to the airport and kick around there and buy a ton of water and some shortbread and then board your 747, conveniently named Dunedin) and then you fly. Forever. Well like 14 hours. Then you get off and deal with the idiocy that is LAX (Has there ever been a stupider airport? Also, why can’t American xray machines look at my shoes while they are on my feet?) Then you run and get sandwiches because the next flight (which was late, thank god) is Air Canada and they no longer give you a meal on flights from LA to Montreal. Then you board, finally and fly to Montreal and make it 5 minutes early because of the tail wind.

Approximate travel time= 30ish hours
Number of litres of water consumed = 4 plus
Number of times Wall E watched by Lucas= 4.5
Number of traveling party who are now sick like dogs=1
Number of traveling party who would do it all again tomorrow if it meant a white Christmas and time with friends and family= 3

Home is good.

My Dad has a saying, it may well not be his, but it goes like this: snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. 

This is essentially what the Liberal Party of Canada is in the process of doing. At the very time that they should be showing their organized, well disciplined side. At at time when Harper and his CPC are vulnerable, at a time when (in my opinion) it would be very nice to have people who kind of like Canada back in charge, they are embarking on one of their periodic bouts of stupid. 

Not content to just piss away the coalition, not content to get rid of Dion before the May 2009 leadership convention they seem to be poised to elect Ignatieff as leader via a conference call… 

Let’s leave aside the many issues with Ignatieff for a second (and they are legion) and stop and think for a second. The. Liberals. Are. Going. To. Throw. Over. Their. Leadership. Race. Via. A. Phone. Call. 

The only thing standing between a CPC majority at this point is 1) the fact that lots of Canadians don’t trust/like Harper and his gang of gits and 2) The Bloc Quebecois is still in play in Quebec. 

I know that Madame doesn’t want him to run again, I know that he is no longer a young man, I get that he’s done, but holy shit Jean Chretien must be sitting somewhere thinking “If you idiots don’t sort this shit out I’m going to come down there and and kick your asses.”.

So I read this comment about a local beer company’s advert: 

 ”And God so loved the earth that he gave them His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall have an annual indication of consumer confidence”.

Let me tell you all something:

I’ve never voted for the LPC in my whole life. I have voted NDP, Bloc and PC. Though I’m often painted as some kind of lefty nut by the more right wing folks around that I interact with, I’m probably a soft NDP/red red tory (I’d like balanced budgets, but not at the cost of social programs - if we need to tax to take care of the weakest in our country, so be it). 

I vote Bloc because Gilles is a good MP and because I honestly think they do a good  job taking care of our province as MPs. 

OH, and it should be pointed out that I’m anglophone. I vote this way at some personal expense. I have gotten into fights with people at workplaces and within my family about my choices. 

In the last few days I, and people like me all over Canada and within Quebec, have been vilified. I love Canada with all my heart and soul. Even more so now that I’m away from home. I happen to skew left. I happen to think that people count more than companies. I think that gay people should be able to marry. I think that women should have control over their wombs (I’m not “pro-abortion” no one is “pro-abortion” please fuck off with that. I’m also pro-Union, pro-equal pay and think that government should be more transparent and that much of what goes on in the House is a circus. 

I am not treasonous. I am not supporting a coup. I am not involved in sedition. I’m not a dread separatist (more on that in a second). My supporting the perfectly legal and constitutional moves of the LPC, the NDP with the support of the Bloc does not mean I’m a bad person. Just one who understand our system of government and disagrees with the CPC and Steven Harper. 

I know that for many in the Rest of Canada it’s easier to simply reduce Quebec politics to federalist or separatist and then move on, as if there is nothing else that we ever think about. As if every vote we take cast is only done so through the prism of wanting to leave Canada or not. 

Here’s the reality: I vote for the PQ in my home riding, not because I love the idea of Quebec leaving Canada, but because every other thing they believe I agree with. Because I hate, with a burning hot rage, Jean Charest. I have alwasy voted PQ (which I’ve been doing for about 4 provincial elections) with a sense of guilt. With an apology on my lips. 

No more. 

Today, and for the foreseeable future, this tête carré has had enough. 

Mr Harper, congratulations. You’ve nearly turned me into a separatist.

So here I am, a million miles away, with no access to any media from Canada but the web. 

And suddenly, after nearly two years of putting up with bullshit and generally living on their knees the Canadian left discovers their spine (my theory? They bumped their head against it when they were pulling their collective heads out of their collective asses). 

My first thought? Why oh why couldn’t you lot have waited like 11 days (we come home for Xmas on the 15th…) 

My second thought? Well Scot Reid put it pretty nicely, though the Canadian Cynic version appeals to me quite nicely.

Seriously though, we’re Canadian.. we don’t elect governments or Prime Ministers, we elect MPs. They then, by convention, form the government and their leader becomes the PM. The job isn’t even in the Constitution. 

The PM only gets to serve as such if (s)he has the confidence of the house, or if htey are so cowed and whipped that they let him or her away with anything they want (see the last Parliament for an example). 

Harper has lost this confidence. He’s been leading like he has a majority.

Ring ring, hello this is reality! He doesn’t. This means that the next viable group of people to be able to run the joint is a combination of the opposition. This is legal. This is in our constitution. This is most assuredly not a coup. Or treason. Or any other stupid thing that any of the Blogging Tories or the CPC or their various mouthpieces (damn liberal media) in the media have been prattling on about. 

This is how our system is meant to work. Deal. 

Anyway, here’s my two bits worth. 

He’s done. Knock him off and kick him when he’d down. Then let’s get back to the business of government.

So our container (or at least it’s contents) was delivered today. Our stuff is here. It’s like Christmas. I’d say Christmas for free, but that, given the cost of shipping and the MAF inspection and the customs duties, would be a great big fucking lie. 

So it’s like normal Christmas. Fun stuff, but with a bill.

So I just looked in on Lucas to make sure he’s ok, and when I did the door to his room squeaked horribly. 

His little head popped up and he asked, sleepily, “Est-ce que c’est le matin papa?” (is it morning now papa?) and I said “non Lucas, fait dodo” (no Lucas, go back to sleep). 

So the head went back down. 

And he did. 

If only all problems were so easily solved. 

Also I need some oil. That door is driving me nuts.

So here we are, one divisive campaign later, 300 million Canadian dollars down the tube, and what have we got. 

Stephen gets his slightly bigger minority. 

Dion lost a few more seats, but not enough that the Liberals are gone. 

Duceppe didn’t lose all the seats everyone thought he would and he comes out looking pretty good, again. 

Jack!!!! got more seats, but not so many that he’s a king maker. 

And, LO!, May’s idiotic, childish, moronic gamble of running against a popular minister in the Harper government didn’t work. 

So, basically, not much changed. 

But Stephen feels better now. 

I personally would have happily allocated my tax dollars for the next 10 years to pay for therapy if we could have avoided this election.