Dear Bigot, 

When I smiled at you identifying that I was Canadian and from Dorval this was not an invitation to tell me everything that was on your mind. 

I was genuinely quite happy to meet someone who had lived in Point Claire for 20 years, seriously I was. That’s why I smiled again. Now, and this is my fault, I should have immediately broken off the conversation when I told you I was from Dorval and you said “oh, is that still there?”. Every one of my warning bells went off. 

At this point I started doing math quickly and realized that you had fled when the PQ took power. This gave me an immediate foreshadowing of what was to come. 

From this point on all of my smiling and soothing conversation was no longer genuine and was the product of years of passive aggression and my trying to contain and manage you in much the way you talk to a 5 year old who is having a tantrum. 

When you started on with your delightful story about how the Quebecois don’t really speak French and how you once saw a French person refuse to talk to a Quebecois in French because they contended that they didn’t actually speak that language my smile was to hide my hatred of both you and myself. My hatred of you should be self explanatory, but I was hating myself for smiling and for not telling you off. 

What I would have liked to have said was “oh yes, when the colonizer comes along and prattles about how his or her language should be spoken it’s always funny. Because nothing is better than condescending bullshit. Hey, how about those Australians and how they think all of you here in NZ speak like stupid, backwards bumpkins? Isn’t that a hoot?”

When you transitioned onwards to your rant about bill 101, which you clearly don’t understand and never will, my smile was now the smile you reserve for the mentally infirm. At this point I was actually enjoying myself again, because all my hatred had evaporated and I now pitied you, in a sort of “oh look, she’s actually pieing herself. Over and over and over. How sad and funny.”

Now, I don’t know if you noticed, but I actually had the spine to turn off the conversation when you moved on to “So, are all the Muslims there still?” Because, honestly, I had more foreshadowing going on, and I just wasn’t able to figure out how we were going to wind up in a good place with this conversational gambit. So yes, there are muslims, and yes many of them came because they came from places where French was the second language. 

But most of them came for another reason. Because idiots like you are out numbered by people who don’t have their heads in their butts. 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and live with my shame at not actually engaging you about yoru stupid. I suppose this shame will fade. Sadly your dumb will not. 

Good day.